Christmas in Africa

Apparently Christmas isn’t quite as big a deal here as it is in America, so Toivo didn’t quite understand my enthusiasm and countdown until midnight on Christmas Eve. We had a lovely Christmas Eve service at Nan’s house. I was expecting to play guitar for the children to sing a few songs since that’s what we had practiced together on Saturday, but here you can’t hold too tightly to your expectations. Instead Tresford gave a lovely reading of the Christmas story interspersed with a few songs, then we all shared refreshments afterward.

The next morning all the Hope’s Promise families and friends were caravanned out to the pool at the old Rossing Country Club. We swam, played soccer, and had a brai (an African barbeque or cookout), then I joined Brenda and Co. back at her place to exchange gifts. It was cool getting to know some of the Hope’s Promise kids that I didn’t know really well.

With so many American volunteers coming and going I wonder how attached these kids really get, knowing that we’ll leave again in a week. Probably not nearly as attached as we get to them. That’s why I think consistency and long-term relationship are so important to ministry. That’s why we don’t just support missionaries at Christ’s Church, we support partners. That’s why we’ve been back to Namibia summer after summer with many team members returning multiple times. That’s why I’m hoping to stay for a whole year. And that’s why being in Arandis for this week almost makes me want to stay here rather than return to Okahandja next week.

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I’ve been thinking about career missions and ministry in the States. Listening to Ron Gardner, pastor at Emmanuel Church in Windhoek, Dieter and Joan’s sending church, he puts a major emphasis on being called to Namibia because that’s their home. And I recognize that the people I best understand and can relate to are New Englanders, especially those who have grown up in church, mostly because that’s who I am. There’s so many more cultural barriers I have to work through to minister elsewhere, whereas my environment has already shaped me perfectly to minister in a church in New England.

Then I watch a film about Mother Theresa who lived with and ministered to the poorest of the poor on the streets of Calcutta, India. No one will convince me that the poorest of the poor live in Amherst, NH, not after what I’ve seen here, and what Mother Theresa dealt with in India. I recognize that over 95% of the world’s youth leaders work with only 5% of the worlds youth population in the United States, leaving only 5% of the world’s youth leaders to work with 95% of the world’s youth. I know that 50% of the Namibian population is under 15 years old. The parents of this generation are dying off because of AIDS leaving thousands of orphans and grandparents or relatives that remain raise 10-12 kids at a time. And Namibia’s not the only place in such rough shape.

But I’m also fully aware that it was Mother Theresa who said, “Calcutta’s are everywhere. You just have to find yours.” There is suffering and spiritual poverty in the rich world as well; you just have to open your eyes to it. So I continue pondering career missions or ministry in the States. Penny for your thoughts?

Photo of the Day

Annetjie and Sannetjie joined us at the pool on Christmas.

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Celebrating Christmas Eve.

Photo of the Day

This place is a stinkin paradise!

This photo could've been taken in the Carribean.

Christmastime Is Here

Friday morning I was suppose to catch the bus at 8:30am. It finally showed up at about 11:15 and we headed out on the 3 hour trek across the desert to the coast. Supposedly this was a luxury coach bus, but the air conditioning hardly blew out and every seat was booked so I was tightly seated with a friendly older woman who graciously shared the arm rest. With about an hour to go we pulled over and they shut off the engine. The fan belt had broken. But apparently that’s why they were late in the first place, because the same thing happened before, so they had brought an extra one. They finally dropped me off on the side of the main road outside Arandis and I caught a lift into town. The 2 ½ hour drive had turned into about 6 hours. As they say, TIA. This is Africa.

This weekend a Hopes Promise family from Rehoboth was being moved out to Arandis so all afternoon we helped clean and move furniture into the new house. That night Toivo and I slept over there to make sure nobody made any moves for all that nice stuff we were moving in. Franco reassured us that they had found lots of salt in the closets, a superstitious way to keep away evil spirits, so we should be safe.

It’s been a lot of fun hanging out with Toivo. I’ve missed his sense of humor and non-stop chatter. He’s also been helping me learn Afrikaans. I don’t think I’m much help for his studies, because I just want him to come out and about, but he’s been pretty dedicated to getting his exams done before the end of vacation.

Around town I’ve seen a few people I recognize from our trip this past summer. I saw a guy from the high school that we nicknamed ‘Professor’, Raymond - one of the dancers that Amanda was friends with, and one of the girls that came to our after school program that befriended Kat. It’s cool seeing the effects of our relationship building goals and having everyone here ask about the people they know from back home.

Monday night I’ll be playing some songs with Tresford for their children’s Christmas program. Then for Christmas I’ll be joining the Hope’s Promise family at Dolphin Park for a little celebration. Apparently you can’t reserve the place (it’s first come, first serve), so Roland’s going over the night before and camping out in his infamous Bobo camper to save the spot for us. It’ll be a little odd going to a pool on Christmas, but at least I have my Christmas tree scent from Jackie for a little fragrance from home. What are you all doing for Christmas?

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

We took Richard to the airport this afternoon. He’s off to enjoy his white Christmas in NH, watch some Patriots games, and see some friends in their home culture. He will be missed. He was my faithful adventure partner, so now I’ll have to do all those crazy things, like hitchhike to Swakop, all by myself. But I was actually thinking, it might not be so bad. To meet people here, I tend to rely on the relationships that my friends already have. So now without Richard here it will force me to be a little more outgoing and get to know some people. Not necessarily the most comfortable thing in the world for me, but after all, that is why I’m here.

Early tomorrow morning Dieter and Joan will be meeting up with their daughter, Thelma, in Windhoek and heading down to Cape Town, South Africa to spend Christmas with family there. I’ll head in the other direction, joining the rest of the nation in Swakopmund. They say the roads are already so packed that you have to park outside of town. The beaches will be crowded, from the wall to the water, full of people. And there I’ll be, just a short half-hour drive away, in Arandis.

Arandis is a small town built for the workers at the nearby Rossing Uranium mine. It is also the home of Brenda Johnston and Hope’s Promise Orphan Ministry. We’ve been partnering with Brenda since we started bringing teams over in 2004. As opposed to the typical orphanage model, HPOM places orphans in Christian foster homes. We think such a family-based ministry is much more effective, not to mention more Biblical.

Also in Arandis are our friends Tresford and Fabiola Banda, and their children Pearl, Liki, and Jeshua. Tresford has been pastoring a church there for the past few years, and many on our teams have grown close to their family. I’ve been working, almost since I got here, to help their family get visas to go over and visit Christ’s Church, but we keep running into red tape and technicalities. Hopefully Darin can work some magic Stateside to figure something out.

While in Arandis, I’ll be rooming with Toivo Thomas, a long-time friend of Christ’s Church. He and his siblings lived at an orphanage called The Ark, but because he was such a bright kid he was sponsored to go to the International School in Windhoek to get the best education available. When he graduates in 2½ years he’s hoping to go to university in the States to become a doctor. He’s joined many of our teams and we’ve all grown to love him. Oh flip!

Because the nearest internet café is in Swakop, I’m not sure how often I’ll get to update the blog over the next week. Thanks so much for all who keep leaving comments. It’s a great encouragement to know I have friends back home remembering me. I hope to get on again before the 25th, but in case I don’t, I wish you all a very merry Christmas. Be blessed and eat well! :)

Random Thoughts

Everything is decorated for the holidays like you would expect. There are Christmas lights on every street light in town. Fake evergreen trees covered in shiny balls can be found in all the malls. Santa even made an appearance, though he didn’t seem quite the same as a skinny, black man. It’s interesting seeing so many “American” traditions find their way into a Namibian Christmas, but then I was reminded that Christmas is largely an “American” holiday. Africans never celebrated it until the whites brought it here. It makes me wonder how the native Africans might have celebrated the birth of the Savior of the world if it hadn’t become so westernized.

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Part of being here for a whole year is experiencing everyday life in a different culture, and part of that everyday life that I’ve enjoyed the most is family life. The Morsbachs have taken me in like another son, having me join them for family picnics by the dam, family meals in the evening followed by some competitive Skip-Bo (Richard has become quite an addict by the way). I think they’re acceptance has helped smooth my transition to African normalcy.

I’ve come to think it’s the subtle, ordinary things that make a place feel like home. Every time you move you have to get used to little things, like a new bathroom or kitchen, where to shop for particular things, a new view from lying in your bed at night. Things like washing clothes and grocery shopping happen everywhere, but perhaps just a little differently than what you’re used to. It’s those little things that become comfortable, then they become habits, and before long it’s normal life. Hmmm…I wonder if there’s any correlation between that idea and how we as Christians make a home of this world.

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I’ve discovered ESPN broadcasts three games a week. The Sunday night game is on at 3am, but then they rebroadcast games at 4pm on Monday and Tuesday. I’ll have to make friends with people who get satellite TV so I can go watch some games. There is a new satellite network that carries FOX Sports, but it’s so new that nobody knows anybody who has it. Because it was a 1:00pm game this week, I got to follow online as the Patriots went 14-0 (for only the second time in NFL history), but that’ll only last so long. I do miss being a part of all the conversations and hype building up to the playoffs, so I really hope I can find a place to watch.

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Keep praying hard for my visa. We got a call from home affairs today and they told us that since I was applying for a whole year I should apply for a work permit rather than a volunteer visa. That was what I was going to do originally so I do have all the paper work, but it just means going through the whole process all over again.

Fun times and old friends

I finally got to sit down with Toivo for lunch today. It was great to see him again. He sends greetings to everyone. He’s doing very well in school including an A+ in PE. He was pretty excited about that one. :) All of his American friends from the international school are driving at 16 so he’s looking forward to turning 17 when Namibians can get their learner’s permit. He’s playing soccer for the school team who just came in 2nd place in a tournament. We’re trying to figure out how we can watch some football together. He’s heading out to Arandis over the holidays to work on his midterm exams. Looks like we’ll get to be roommates again.

After we got back from Windhoek, it was so hot we went swimming at the dam, or as Jadon would say, we went for a dam swim. There was a great place to jump off into the water which makes for the first of today’s photos of the day.

Before lunch I got to walk around the Municipal Gardens in Windhoek which gave me opportunity to play with the macro settings on my camera, so today you get two photos of the day. I’m not typically a flower person so this one’s for Mike Mendola.

Look out Ty Pennington

As I mentioned before, Richard and I came across some spare tiles while we were searching for furniture for my house, so we decided to tile my shower. Neither of us had ever tiled before but we thought it looked easy enough so we gave it a try. By the end, we both decided it looked good but neither of us would ever become professional tilers. Now a little paint job and my shower will be good as new!

  
Here’s the before pic, and Richard spreading the tile cement.

  
After a few botched attempts I figured out the tile cutter and laid them all in place.

  
Then we pointed the grout to seal the gaps. Almost looks professional. :)
I haven’t used it yet, but I’m convinced that when I do it will somehow all melt away and I’ll be back to my wooden grate. Either way, it was a fun project and now we both know how to tile…ish.

What culture shock

This post is for those that think Africa is all jungle huts and natives with loin cloths. We were running errands in Windhoek (the capital city) yesterday and while Richard was buying his plane ticket I got a chance to meander around the mall. I walked into a store called Hi-Fi that has all sorts of electronics from plasma TVs to car stereos to housing appliances. I watched an employee play a demo on the Nintendo Wii, then caught Steven Segal on the projector screen in their home theatre section. The guy that drove us back from the coast on Monday had a Toyota Forerunner with leather seats, multi disc changer, and even had a radar detector in his cell phone. So there is wealth here, and luxury, and convenience, just not in the abundance you find the States.

But if their modern technology doesn’t take you by surprise, here are a few things that might. When you order a bacon cheeseburger you ask for ‘chips’ instead of fries. Rather than dipping your chips in ketchup, they have bottles of tomato sauce. And if you bite into your burger expecting the small, crunchy strips of bacon you’re used to then you’re in for a shocker. Their bacon is basically slices of ham. They call stoplights ‘robots’, flashlights are ‘torches’, and ATMs are BOBs. We had ‘pancakes’ for dinner one night, but really they were crepes. What we call pancakes, they call crumpets. So if you thought your English would get by just fine then you may still have some learning to do.

Then there’s those things you might expect to adjust to. Instead of looking out for deer on the road, you watch out for warthogs and baboons. Speaking of driving, “Keep Left, Pass Right” is a popular road sign with the tourists. When I first arrived I was quickly warned about the zebra snake and the puff adder, how they look and act, and what to do if I came across one. In the dark I’ve almost stepped on a scorpion and a toad/frog bigger than my foot. There are bugs everywhere. I have a walking stick (of the bug variety) living in my kitchen sink. And this is my roommate, Linus, a common African gecko. I think I’m the one that invaded his space, but once he realized I was just trying to take his picture he stood still for me. He lives over my closet and comes and goes as he pleases. He likes it because it’s cool inside during the day and warm at night. I like him because he eats the mosquitoes.

So Africa’s not such a world apart after all, it’s just different. And just because something’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It may take a little getting use to, but people have been living here for centuries. I can’t come as the typical arrogant American thinking I have all the answers to fix Africa. It’s about understanding a different culture, experiencing life from a different perspective and in the long run, hoping that it will broaden my own.

Visa News

The Home Affairs office opens at 8am. I was in line at 8:05 and stood there for half an hour before someone even showed up at the desk. But then only 15 minutes later my visa app was left in their hands (a little sketchy, I know) and now I go back in a week and hope it'll be approved. I ended up applying for a volunteer visa which is a little different than the work permit I was originally going to apply for. Volunteer visas are what the peace corps uses and they say it should be pretty easy to get. So pray that next week I return to a favorable response!

Richard was also pleased to get the news of his visa. He will be going to the States under a visitors visa for 6 months. He hopes to spend a few weeks in NH so he can have a white Christmas, and then head down to Orlando to go to skydiving school. It's been a blast hanging out with him and having someone else around my age and with my adventerous spirit. He will be missed.

Photo of the Day

Sunset over Okahandja,

Yet another reason I'm in love with Af.

Long weekend

With a youth group staying at Dieter’s for the weekend and Monday being declared a national holiday, Richard and I decided to head out to the coast for the weekend. During December the temperature inland is like I said before, 36-40 C, but out at the coast it’s quite cool thanks to the ocean breeze. During the holidays everyone heads out to the coast because it’s so much cooler, so Richard and I packed up some backpacks and hitched a ride in the back of a pickup for the 3 hour ride out to Swakopmund on the coast. It’s quite a way to travel, not too cushy on the bottom and be sure to lather on the sunblock, but the open air can’t be beat.

We were hoping to rent some sandboards in Swakop to ride down the dunes, but the only place that has them makes you go on their special tour for N$300 per person, so we decided we’ll just make our own boards before we go back again. We had some renown jumbo burgers from Beryl’s for lunch then hit the beach where we discovered some pretty intense volleyball players. I jumped in for a few games and I must say, playing in sand is FAR different than playing in a gym, but with a few tips I started to get the hang of it. I got a few contact numbers for people that run a club program on Tuesday nights in Windhoek, so hopefully I can join them after the holidays.

Sunday morning we went to Tresford’s church in Arandis where I got to catch up with Pearl and Brenda for a bit. In typical African style, Tresford invited me up to play his guitar completely impromptu, so we sang “Blessed Be Your Name”. After lunch we got to spend a little more time with Tresford before taking Leah, Brian, and Charmaine out to Swakop and the dunes. It was great seeing all our Arandis friends again and sharing news of all the people from back home who’ve been there before. Sounds like I may be back there again within the next couple weeks to help with music for a children’s Christmas program at the church.

This morning Richard’s roommate from Pneumatics, Gilbert, was having his 21st birthday party out on the beach so we joined them for a game of touch rugby and some lunch. I may be a foreigner to rugby but I sprinted past the defense for a score and made a few interceptions. Not a bad showing for the American. Hanging out with that group made me all the more anxious to learn Afrikaans. They were all chattering away and laughing with each other and I had no idea what they were saying. But I was still invited in just like I belonged. Gilbert was quick to remind me, “You’re in Namibia now where you make family and friends easily.” All in all it was a great relaxing weekend and I discovered an awesome new way to travel, hitchhiking! :)

Photo of the Day

Shipwreck in the bay outside Swakop

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Backflips off the dunes

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Our view from the back of the pickup hitchiking to Swakop.

Settling in

I think to be a hunter you need much more patience then I have. Just after dark last night Richard and I went out hunting kudu in a neighboring farmer’s field. The kudu come in and eat all the crops so we’re doing both of us a favor, clearing out the kudu and getting us some meat. (Don’t tell Erin!) However we only saw 3 and they were too far off for a good shot. The night watchman told us a good place to sit and wait for them so we’ll head back later tonight and see if we can’t nab some dinner.

The house I’m staying in doesn’t have much so Richard and I scavenged around the property and some pawn shops for some furniture and assorted household items. We found some boxes of tile so our new project will be tiling my shower. Neither of us have done it before so it’ll be a good learning experience. There’s probably a reason there are professional tilers, but it seems easy enough so we’ll give it a shot.

I got to connect up with Brenda, Nan, and Tresford today. We’re trying to help Tresford get visas for his family to visit the States to work with Christ’s Church, but there have been a few hang-ups we’re trying to iron out. For all those who’ve been asking, Brenda’s going to find out for me what Toivo’s doing over the holiday break. I’m hoping we’ll get to spend some time together.

A year in Africa

From December 2007 through Dec 2008 I will be living with my friends Dieter and Joan Morsbach in Okahandja, Namibia. I will be serving as a Distributed Pastor of Christ’s Church working with orphan ministries, humanitarian aid projects, and community development programs. I’ll also be exploring many of the cultural differences with the youth and how youth ministry is different than in the States. If you’re interested in a short term missions trip to Africa, I can help in making arrangements for that as well. :)

During this year I will be posting to my African Travel Blog. You can find it at… http://africantravelblog.blogspot.com. On that site I will include updates, prayer requests, photos, and hopefully even some video of my trip. I will still have occasional access to my email, myspace, facebook, IM, etc, so we can still keep in touch. Thanks for your prayers and support, and please continue following my journey at my African Travel Blog.

Photo of the Day

The view out my kitchen window

Welcome to Namibia!

It’s always great to see a smiling, familiar face that you haven’t seen in quite some time. Joan and Richard picked me up at the airport, along with one of my two bags. But no worries, I had expected as much so I split up all my clothes and stuff so I’d have some of everything in case that happened. (I wasn’t long without as my other bag was dropped off this afternoon.) Richard and I dropped Joan off in Windhoek where she’ll be staying this week for some preschool training, grabbed a burger and headed back to the plot to get settled in. Unpacking seemed strangely unfamiliar as I usually live out of a suitcase while I’m here, but soon enough it’ll feel more like home.

Sleeping last night was a little rough. I didn’t get to sleep until after 1:00am, which is 6pm to my body clock. So after tossing and turning all night I forced myself up at 8:00am to try and adjust myself. Now I’m doing all I can not to take an afternoon nap so I’ll crash hard tonight and hopefully be good to go by tomorrow morning. Oh the joys of traveling. (7 hours ahead for those who were wondering and didn’t do the math.)

Everybody was asking about temperature. Apparently December is the hottest month of the year, although being in the desert, the nights are still surprisingly cool. But by about 10am the heat sets in until about 6ish when the sun starts to go down. Richard says it typically gets up to about 37-40 C in the day, and down to about 18-20 C at night. He says it will cool down a little when the rains come in January. So there you have it. Maybe I can find a weather widget or something to stick on the sidebar for you to follow.

Thanks for your prayers. Pics of the new pad coming soon!

Fly Happy indeed

Well I must say this has been the easiest, most uneventful flying experience of all my trips to Namibia. Some of it may have to do with not being responsible for 20-some-odd other people. I've blown through security, only twice, with no lines, no waiting. They've checked my passport once. No long layovers. Even the 15 hour flight was a breeze, other than my eccentric seatmate, but even that wasn't so bad. So now I'm waiting in the Joburg airport, almost ready to board my last 2 hour flight to Windhoek. But in my spare half hour I had to check online to see that the Pats sqeaked another one out. Sports analyst Mike says this is dangerous for the rest of the NFL. Everybody may be saying that now they're vulnerable, but I say now they've experienced a little pressure. They can blow teams out of the water, but they can also come from behind in the fourth quarter. This is the third time. So watch out NFL, this "never perfect" attitude will only make this team better and harder to beat down the road. Well I only have 10 minutes left and a few emails to read over. Thanks for all your comments and travel prayers!

Think I'm just about ready

So tomorrow's the big day. I fly out of Logan at 12:15pm to Washington D.C., then on to Joburg. It's crazy that it's actually here, but it still won't seem real until I'm actually sitting on the plane. The past few days have been pretty intense working out all the final details. We had to change my ticket to return in 90 days since I can only get a 90 day visa when I arrive, then I'll apply for my 12 month work permit when I get there. We worked out insurance and I've settled most all of my accounts. My room is emptied of everything that I'm not taking with me. And my two heavy bags are waiting on my sleeping bag and pajamas before they're finally zipped for good. I was reminded of Gideon as I was realizing I wasn't going to fit everything into my bags. I took out a little bit and God said, no that's still too much. Took out some more, still too much, but I squeezed it down to the essentials, and still managed a few fun items.

The support from my church family has been overwhelming. From meeting kids for ice cream, dinner, or breakfast to being prayed over during the service this morning to a surprise going away party tonight, it's awesome having such a loving, supportive community around me. That's one thing I know I'll truly miss over the next year. So thank you all for the incredible encouragement you've been (and will be) to me. It has indeed been my joy. Thanks for all your prayers as I travel. Hopefully my next post will be from the other side of the world!

The last week

Packing is well underway as things find their way into one of four piles: throw away, give away, store away, or take with me. I've already made my first trips to the dump, the Upper Room, and taking stuff home. It's very freeing in a way. As much as I like to think I live simply, I still have so much I can live without. And I don't think I ever would've cleaned house if it hadn't become a necessity. Anyway, I highly recommend it.

So this past week reality has really started to hit. I watched my last Patriots game, played my last gig, lead worship at church for the last time, went to my last youth group. Today was my last Tuesday in the States for a year. I've started saying goodbye to people that I won't see again before I leave. When thinking about all the things I'll miss while in Africa, I'm realizing how much I really do love about being here. There's something to be said for the traditions of Christmas music and hot chocolate, cold in the air and snow on the evergreens, that make Christmas seem like Christmas because that's how I've grown up. It'll be interesting experiencing many of the same things from an entirely different perspective. For Namibians, Christmas has always been a summer holiday during some of the hottest time of the year. Sand replaces snow (sand replaces most everything there). So it'll definitely be different, but that's part of what I'm looking forward to, understanding life from a different perspective, expanding my small New England mindset on things. Hopefully I can express some of that to you here, but I think mostly you just have to experience it yourself. So come visit me! :)

T-minus 12 days

I just got back from two weeks on the road visiting with friends and family before I head out for a the next year. I've logged almost 3,000 miles from NH to Pennsylvania to Michigan to Indiana to Kentucky to North Carolina, back to PA, and finally inching my way through NYC traffic (it was cloudy and rainy or else I might've stopped) I made my way back home. It was a great time catching up with some friends from college, seeing cousins that I haven't seen in ages, and exchanging 'Christmas' gifts with the fam. It's amazing having so many excellent people who support me in life, whether they realize it or not.

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So yesterday I passed the two week mark and now packing becomes my next priority. I had started working on it before my vacation but now it comes to the forefront. What do I want to keep? What needs to be tossed? What can be given away? What last things do I need to buy here that I won't be able to get in Africa? And then amidst all that is the greater joy of getting together with everybody here before I go. I know these next 12 days will fly by faster than I can imagine. I hope, as always, to live them to the fullest, and as we say in Africa, sleep when I get home.

The Voice in the Wilderness

I often find I connect most with God when in the midst of creation. I know, it's not some grand revelation unique to me. Many of the great forefathers of the faith met with God in the wilderness, but it still feels like a grand secret between God and me. From the sand dunes of Lake Michigan, to the rolling hills of the Kentucky horse farms, to the extravagantly colored hills of the Smokey Mountains in peak foliage, God proclaims His glory through what we see all around us, though often times we're going by too fast to stop and notice it. I wish I had cool photos that could capture it all to share with you, but nothing would quite compare, so it'll remain my little secret, until you drive Rt 40 in early-November.

"Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature." ~Romans 1:20

"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship." ~ Psalm 19:1

Dollars and Sense

Many people have been asking about how I'll be supported while working in Namibia for a whole year. I will not be traveling around to raise support like many missionaries do. Instead I will be supported by the church community I've been serving with and participating in for the last 22 years. As I mentioned, I will still be on staff at my church as a salaried pastor, I will simply be located in Namibia, hence the term "distributed pastor". However, living expenses in Namibia are far less than they are in the States, so basically to show their appreciation for 5 years of pastoral service Christ's Church is giving me a pay cut and shipping me off to Africa. :)

That being said, the money still has to come from somewhere, and I do understand the joy of giving and making an investment in people's lives and ministries around the world. (If that sounds like a clever ploy to make you want to send me money then I'd be more than happy to chat about a biblical theology of giving.) So if you are interested in financially sharing in this ministry with me, you can make a tax-deductible donation through Christ's Church of Amherst. You can do that in two ways. Our online E-source program allows you to make a one-time or monthly gift through electronic transfer directly from your credit card, checking, or savings account. Simply input your information and put my name under "Purpose of gift." Or you can send a check with my name in the memo to:

Christ's Church of Amherst
58 Merrimack Road
Amherst, NH 03031

Thank you so much for all your prayers and for those who've expressed interest in supporting me financially. It is indeed a blessing to have such a strong support group back here in the States.

Friends and Photos

I love friends that you can jump back in and pick up 5 years later right where you left off. It's been refreshing connecting up with friends from college and extended fam that I haven't seen in years. Everybody grows up so fast. My cousins are so big! So many of my friends are having babies and starting families. I love hearing their dreams about pursuing ministry and what God's been teaching them. I love seeing them in their environments, meeting their friends, and reminiscing old times. It's great knowing such cool people. :)

The Photos of the Day start with Arianna Siegrist, Laura and Dave's miracle baby. She was born with heart troubles but at their 7 month check-up the doctors told them she looked great and didn't need to take daily meds anymore. Cayd Elijah Sespico is Sarah and Chris' newborn. God has turned their mourning into dancing after suffering a miscarriage not long ago. And the last is my aunt and cousins whom I haven't seen in years. It was fun going to youth group, playing foosball and Wii, and making movies with the kids, and catching up with my aunt and uncle. I would love to live closer to my cousins so I could see them more and watch them grow up. In fact, it's too bad all my cool friends and fam couldn't all live in NH so I could hang out with them all, but I guess I have to share them with the rest of the world. :)

So I think traveling has also helped me mentally prepare for being gone to Namibia for a year. I've gotten to share with many people about my vision for the year and help them get on board with what I'm doing. It's cool having so much support and so many people praying for me. I'm getting more and more excited and ready to be there. It seems unreal that it's less than a month away and I know that's gonna fly by with the rest of my trip, then Thanksgiving, then packing. I'm excited, but also a little nervous. A year is a really long time...from this side of it. I know when it's over it will seem to have flown by, that's how it always works. And then I'll be on the flip side of all this about coming back. But I don't have to think about that now, just take it a day at a time, which is all we really have anyway. (To learn more about my year in Namibia check out my African Travel Blog.)

Thirty-four days

A friend asked me recently what I would miss the most being gone for a year. At first consideration all the little things come to mind...I'll miss watching my Patriots tear through the postseason and win their 4th championship in 7 years. I'll miss having easy access to the internet where I can chat with friends or check my email whenever I want. And like I said before, I'll miss my friends here and all the things that will happen in their lives over the course of the year. But I think more than anything I'll miss people that understand me. In past trips to Namibia I've always been with teams of other Americans. This time around I won't have people who share my American perspective to sit and debrief with around a campfire. I won't have friends who understand my frustrations or know what I'm thinking simply by my facial expression. There's something to be said for investing 5 years in relationships and having people surrounding you who can challenge you and laugh with you because they understand you. So in reflecting on what it really means to be gone for an entire year, that's probably what I'll miss the most. But I trust that God will bring new people into my life while I'm there...in fact, I'm counting on it.

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We purchased my plane ticket last week. So now I have an official departure date, which makes it seem that much more real. December 2nd will be my last Sunday at Christ's Church, then I'll fly out the next day. I'll fly from Boston to Washington D.C. then straight to Joburg before catching the short flight up to Windhoek. I'm not sure of the exact times yet or how long my layovers are but that's the gist. So if you don't have plans come help me caravan down to Boston on Monday, Dec 3rd. :)

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Packing has officially begun, another thing that makes it seem that much more real. No, not packing for the trip, but packing up my stuff here. I don't have all that much stuff in the first place (as those who helped me move can attest), but most of what I do have I've been progressively tossing or giving away. The few remaining crates of personal memorabilia, irreplaceables, and junk that's special to me will end up packed away at my parent's house.

I love the discipline of simplicity. I love that for an entire year everything I'll have can be packed in a suitcase. Truth is I think we all know we can live on much less than we have. Even much of what we think we need is simply periphery, we're just not willing to part with it. The demands of discipleship often come into conflict with our greedy, materialistic, consumerist culture, and this area of 'stuff' is no exception. So like I said, I'm excited about the opportunity to take this rant of mine to another level of practicality.

So it begins

In Africa they say the dust mixes with your blood so you have to keep coming back. I've been to Namibia six times already on short-term missions teams from our church. And now I'm preparing for my seventh trip, this time for a whole year, so I guess it must be true for me.

Ever since 2004, I've been talking about going back long term. You can't really get a good idea of what African life is like in just a two week trip. Six months is closer, but a year(!), then I'll probably have a pretty good idea of what it's like.

Christ's Church has built some pretty cool partnering relationships with our friends in Namibia over the years. In February 2004, I walked with Dieter Morsbach over a plot of land listening to his visions and dreams. We've watched that plot mature into the Elim Centre where people are trained in life skills. We've all heard Brenda Johnston's story of going from Disney exec to director of Hope's Promise Orphan Ministries in Namibia. We've seen HPOM expand from Rehoboth to Arandis changing lives and communities along the way. We've seen God do amazing things in Namibia, and we're anxious to see more.

So in December 2007, I'm going to live for a year with our friends in Namibia and explore how Christ's Church can continue to advance our partnering relationships and be more involved in what God's doing there. Along the way I'll be learning much about life in another culture, what youth ministry is like in Africa, and what short-term missions looks like from the other side. Americans often go to do, to accomplish, to fix, but mostly I'll be listening, to God, to the people, to our friends. It's only from that context that we can begin to help.

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It took me a long time before I was willing to leave everything I've invested in over the past five years. I work at the greatest church any youth pastor could hope for. I've got great friends who support me and understand me. And I've absolutely fallen in love with the group of teenagers I work with. More than anything else, that's what's held me back. It took me a while to trust that God could continue to work in their lives without me here. As much as I want to watch them grow up and not miss a thing along the way, I have to let God be God and entrust them to His hand.

They say that somewhere around 95% of the world's youth workers work with 5% of the world's youth population in the United States. That leaves only 5% of the world's youth workers to work with 95% of the youth in the rest of the world! Every time I go to Namibia I see hundreds of kids who have no spiritual role models, no one to share God's love with them. This is my opportunity to fight the tide.

People ask me if I'm nervous, if I'm excited, and I have to say ya, a little of both. I'm excited to experience life in a place I've grown to love. I'm excited to be involved in what God's doing in Namibia and grow immeasurably closer to Him. I'm excited to live in a relationship oriented culture where 'stuff' doesn't accumulate and time doesn't matter. But at the same time, I'm nervous to be alone, amongst no one that can relate to the bit of American culture that I inevitably bring with me. I'm nervous that my cultural ignorance might get me in trouble, that I might mess up our relationships rather than help further them, that I'll forget to pack something important. :) But it's in all that excitement, and especially the nervousness, that I find faith, faith in a God who understands me and who's plans I can never mess up. So I'll be able to say with Job, "My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you." (Job 42:5)

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So in a few short months I'll board a plane to reunite the dust in my blood with it's home. This will hopefully be the first of many posts like it, sharing my thoughts along the way. So thank you for being gracious in your literary critique and I invite you to join me on the journey by leaving comments from familiar voices back home.

Photo of the Day

Tara Leigh Cobble has inspired me by her "photo of the day" series on her blog, so I thought I'd add my own from Saturday's adventure to Vermont and upstate New York. Though I'm sure you won't find nearly as much amusement about this shot as I did. This family was attending a small-town wedding in Bicentennial Park. I slipped alongside their photographer and asked if I could take a shot as well. They were speechless as to why this stranger would want their photo so I snapped it quickly before they could say no. Although now I owe them a couple wallet-sized prints. (ps. I think my favorite is the little boy in the front holding his little stuffed animal.)

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On a more serious note, driving along the back roads, checking out the hillsides ablaze with color, left me plenty of time to consider country living. Having grown up visiting my many relatives in upstate NY I have a pretty good handle on what it's like to live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, and I have to say, it's nice to visit, but I don't think I could live there.

Maybe I just have too much ambition (or delusions of grandeur) to be content living my entire life in a small country town, talking the latest gossip about nothing important. Maybe I've seen too much of the world (and the city) to get so wrapped up in small town drama. Maybe I'm just too young and restless to appreciate what so many people call home. I don't know, but it's not for me.

But as with anything, there are upsides to be learned from. There is something to say for investing your entire life in a particular community, building life long relationships with neighbors and friends, and the authenticity to talk to anybody and everybody. Those things I do value, but I don't think I could do it in the middle of nowhere.

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While at the park, a young teenage girl came up to us asking who was getting married as if we were with the party. She hadn't seen it in the paper or heard of anyone getting married around town. She went on to tell us how everybody knew everything in their small town. She had no regard for the fact that we were complete strangers and could probably care less except for the fact that we're not that rude and had just been talking about small-town folk and were amused that everything she was saying was corroborating exactly what we'd been talking about.

Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him

Reading through Matthew 6 recently, I was pondering what I know about God and prayer. I know a lot of people try and interpret "The Lord's Prayer" line for line and this is what it really means. That's not what I'm trying to do at all. I wouldn't really presume my interpretation upon it. I just know what it says. All I'm doing is just making a few observations:

"Our Father in heaven" - God already knows who He is and He knows my thoughts before I even think them so this address cannot be for God's sake, but perhaps just a reminder to me that God is my Father and He is beyond anything this earth could contain.

"Hallowed be Your name" - God is already perfectly holy so if this is a request then there's nothing He can do to make Himself more holy, so maybe it's just reminding me that God really is holy even though I don't always live like He is.

"Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" - God has never needed my permission or insight into when He will accomplish His ends. He will do as He pleases, when He pleases, whether I ask Him to or not. So maybe this is just a reminder to me that God really is in control, good does win out over evil, and this earth is not all there is.

"Give us today our daily bread" - In a few verses Jesus will explain how silly it is to worry about whether or not we will eat because God provides food even to the birds who aren't nearly as valuable as His sons and daughters. So do I really need to ask God to provide food for me, or do I just need a reminder that everything I have comes from the God Who Provides?

"Forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors" - My sins, past, present, and future, were forgiven when I confessed Christ. Am I really asking God to forgive me over again, or is more a reminder to me of the depths from which I've been forgiven, and that compared to those who've wronged me?

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one" - James tells us that God is not tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone. So perhaps rather than a request, it's a reminder of God's goodness and His sovereignty over those who oppose Him.

If God is really unchangeable, then is prayer really for His sake or for mine? Does asking Him really help Him make up His mind, or does it change mine to recognize how utterly helpless I am and completely dependent upon Him for everything, from adoption to assurance, from provision to forgiveness, from sanctification to victory? All I know is I'm commanded to pray so I do, and it always tends to straighten out my perspective.

The physics of experiencing life

When shuttles return from the moon re-entry involves screaming through the flaming heat of the atmosphere. While coming home from Namibia isn't quite that bad, sometimes it seems like it. Anybody who's travelled cross-culturally knows what it's like to come home and experience the tension of not wanting to fall back into everyday life here but keep some of the tendencies and habits you learned in other places. For me it was walking.

Our last night in Arandis the pastor's daughter, Pearl, was hanging out at our house and so she wouldn't have to walk back home alone in the dark, a group of us walked her home. We walked the long way around, down the long, quiet road on the outskirts of town where there are houses on one side and nothing but desert as far as you can see on the other. The lights from the town aren't as bright on that road so the view of the stars is amazing. You can even see the Milky Way. I don't know whether it was short legs or just not wanting to go home, but she kept saying, "You're walking too fast." I'd hardly realized until she said it that half our group was way ahead and the rest of us were struggling to slow down enough to walk with her. It got me thinking how in America we're all about getting there. We're all about accomplishing the goal. The purpose of our outing was to walk her home and come back, we just set a pace to get it done without a second thought. But what Pearl understood, we totally missed. It didn't have anything to do with our velocity, but everything to do with our perspective. For her it was a last chance to spend time with these people she'd fallen in love with who would be leaving the next morning. She knew when we reached her house it'd be over. She was all about the walk, not the destination, so she kept reminding us, "Walk slower."

On our way home we made it all the way to Paris without a snag, then when we were about to board our last plane for the final leg home they delayed our flight another 10 hours. So we went about switching gates and going through security...again, and getting some food. We got online to update the blog and let people send messages home. But 10 hours is still a long time and we were all tired and emotionally exhausted, so people started getting frustrated and bored. Now I'm a pretty laid back guy and I'm in no hurry to get home, there's nobody waiting for me at the airport except the knowledge that I'll have to say goodbye to all the people I've grown so close to during the last two weeks, so I was getting a little frustrated that everyone was wasting away this last opportunity just being bored and complaining. I eventually dropped some comments to some different people in the least harsh way I could muster, and I think they got my drift. But it just reminded me of how often we go through life waiting instead of living.

So yesterday morning I went for a walk. I never go for morning walks in America, but in Africa it's not uncommon. I thought about how much I live from one scheduled activity to the next and about how much I miss in between. I imagined what it would be like to live in the 'in betweens' instead of in the schedule. I looked up from the ground and glanced around. I hadn't realized how much I was missing around me as I was watching where I would make my next step. I took a deep breath, and took my next step...just a little slower.

Take six

Other than my fam, I think my longest standing relationship is God. I don't really keep up with any of my grade school friends, and I first met God before I came to Christ's Church so He even beats them out. And I must say I'm more confident now than ever that He is completely trustworthy, totally sovereign, and loves me more than anything. It's wild being in relationship with someone who has absolutely no faults, because I have nothing to relate it to; it's foreign to me, but that's the reality of it. It's wild feeling like I'm wrapped up in the hugmongous arms of God. It feels safe. Fear looses all it's power. And that makes me smile.

Less than 48 hours and I'm off once again to one of my favorite places on earth, Namibia, Africa. We're gone June 25th through July 12th (no that doesn't mean you can come vandalize my house!!!) with 18 people, 36 bags, 3 guitars, and a partrige and a pear tree. But to tell the truth, I've been ready to go for most of the week. Not actually ready to go, but ready to be there. All the sights, and smells, and tastes come flooding back and I know it's time to go. So I invite you to join us, not on the airplane, but on the blogsite. Check out our team blogsite at...

www.namibia2007.blogspot.com
and follow all the action for yourself. We'll post pics and videos, tell stories of what's going on, and best of all, you can leave me little comments that I'll get to read while we're there. But most of all we'd love your prayers, for my teammates, for the people we'll minister to, and for me to be bold and open to learn what God has for me. Thanks for all your support. Signing off, for the next 3 weeks (not like I actually write that often anyway).

Lately I've been reading in Isaiah and have found it quite enjoyable. That's kind of odd I think, because Isaiah is condemning Israel and telling them about this nasty stuff that God's going to do to them. But the cool part is, interspersed in all that is a great deal of the character of God. Like when he's speaking of God's power he uses great metaphors of things that just ooze power, things we can't control that hold some mystery in them, like fierce storms and overwhelming tsunamis.

But then in the midst of all the destructive talk, Isaiah throws in a piece about God's wisdom and mercy. I'm not much of a farmer so some of the horticultural metaphors used in the Bible aren't quite as familiar, but I think I managed to pick up some of this one. He says the farmer doesn't just tear up the ground with His plow forever. No, he just does it to prepare for the seed. Likewise the baker doesn't crush the grain forever, but just enough to make some bread out of it. In the same way, God doesn't pulverize and smite us forever. Sure He allows pain and suffering, but it's temporary. It tenderizes us so He can sow into our lives. We must allow His wisdom and sovereignty to rule in our troubles. Afterall, where do you think the farmer and the baker learned it from?

"Give ear and hear my voice; Listen and hear my words.
Does the farmer plow continually to plant seed?
Does he continually turn and harrow the ground?
Does he not level its surface and sow dill and scatter cummin
And plant wheat in rows, barley in its place and rye within its area?
For his God instructs and teaches him properly.

Grain for bread is crushed; Indeed, he does not continue to thresh it forever. Because the wheel of his cart and his horses eventually damage it, He does not thresh it longer." ~Isaiah 28:24-26, 28

The wages of work is death

So lately I've been working tirelessly on a recording project to help raise money for our upcoming Namibia trip and it's gotten me thinking about the value of work. In the end people will listen to the CD for a while but eventually it'll end up in the yard sale pile. The songs will go out of style and new songs will take their place. Eventually the glory of that CD will pass away, but is that why I work?

Every year at this time we have a Graduation Banquet celebrating another year done, saying goodbye to all our seniors, and welcoming the incoming freshmen. For the presentation, I put hours into setting up a little slideshow of pictures reviewing the year and of the seniors through the years. I show the video once at the banquet, then it quickly finds itself buried in an archive file, forgotten about for years to come. I've made so many videos for so many occasions through the years that all have the same fate. Their glory days fade quickly, but is that why I work?

All our work fades away. I spent the last hour scrubbing the bathroom, only for it to get dirty again. I spend hours mowing the lawn, but it grows back. I cook a meal, wash dishes, take the trash out, knowing that I'll do it all again tomorrow. So why do we work if it doesn't last?

Well some of those last illustrations seem obvious for health reasons and such, but I think there are lasting things about the work we do, and I mean more than just a paycheck at the end of the week. For instance, sometimes I work to show love to people. Sometimes my work leaves a lasting impression, like the CD. Who knows what somebody might take away or how God might speak into someone's life by listening to those songs. Sometimes it's for the pleasure in a job well done, or using a clean shower.

Maybe the temporary nature of our work is meant to remind us that this is not all there is. In this world, things break and deteriorate but it won't always be this way. One day everything will be healed, never to hurt again. By working we mimic God by redeeming the broken, filthy, useless things of this world. His glory can shine through our work, so in the end all is not worthless. It may only be like a drop in a pond, but every drop leaves ripples.

Our Deepest Fear

Part of this poem was quoted in a movie I saw yesterday. Unfortunately, they left out the words that give it true meaning, the words about our identity as children of God. I thought I'd share the whole thing with you here.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson

30 Hour Famine

I'm not all that easily amazed, but this Sunday I was pretty blown away. But let me start at the beginning...

Last summer my frustration was building over taking people to Africa and having them come back and resume their normal, American lives. I was even more frustrated that I would go over to Africa summer after summer and return to my normal, American life. But then a few weeks later at Soulfest I was impressed with the attention and priority they gave to certain humanitarian relief organizations. It was there I was first introduced to Invisible Children and To Write Love On Her Arms and Zack with The Amazing Change. I met people at lots of different booths with lots of different organizations that were making a difference in the lives of the poor and oppressed around the world.

That fall we decided to give those organizations a little face time at youth group. Every couple weeks we'd introduce a different ministry making a difference in people's lives and challenge the kids to find a need they could get passionate about and do something about it. It was about this time that I picked up a little book called The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. In the book he shared his story of how he came to actually live like he believed what Jesus said. He speaks of working in leper colonies in India with Mother Theresa, and helping save a group of homeless families living in a condemned church, and traveling to Iraq to love on the innocent people effected by war. He challenged me to live like I believe what Jesus said, love society's outcasts, give what I have to the poor, trust that God will take care of my needs. And that's when I met Katy.

The Upper Room is a Christian ministry to the poor that gives everything away, food, clothes, household items, toys for kids, everything goes out absolutely free. Yet Katy told me, in all the years they've been open God has always provided for all their needs. She tells me amazing stories of all that's God's done to change people's lives and the community around them. Since working there I've learned so much about what it means to "be" charity and how, like Shane says in his book, people don't help the poor because people don't know the poor.

So in our efforts to introduce the youth group kids to what's really going on in the world, we decided to do World Vision's 30 Hour Famine with our group. (yes, I'm finally getting to that) So on Friday after lunch we started fasting. We gathered that evening at the church and spent the rest of the Famine together learning about hunger and poverty around the world and how we can help. Saturday morning we visited Katy at the Upper Room and helped pack up the extra winter coats to send to Africa. We went on a food scavenger hunt to collect food and other items to donate. We learned that 29,000 children die each day from malnutrition and preventable causes and wallpapered our sanctuary with fingerprints for each of those children. We prayed for the countries around the world where World Vision is helping. And then, 30 (and a half) hours later we broke fast together.

Famine Sunday

Sunday morning we were given the sermon time to share our experiences with the congregation. We shared a little bit about what we did, but mostly we shared our hearts about these pressing issues, issues that we can do something about. One of the students, Kirk, talked about why he had given up going to a concert at his school where he could get free pizza and kool-aid to come to church and fast for 30 hours. We shared about the 29,000 fingerprints around the room and how just $1 a day could feed a child for a day. A World Vision rep spoke about her recent trip to Africa and lined up child sponsorship packets across the front of the stage for people to take. And then I stood up and spoke bold words from the Scriptures, much bolder than I felt to be honest. I said it's more blessed to give than receive, and if you have 2 coats give one to somebody who needs it. I read from James 1:22, "Do not just listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." I read what's quickly becoming a new favorite, 1 John 3:17-18, "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

That's when it started. As we closed with a video challenging people that they have one life, do something with it, people got out of their seats and came right up front to take a child sponsorship packet. And not just one or two, they kept coming. Afterward, people who've never really talked to me before kept coming up to me asking about the Upper Room and how they wanted to take their kids down to help out. Young kids were asking me how they could donate their clothes to the Upper Room. One lady even handed me her expensive Anne Klein coat saying, "I don't need this." I was so overwhelmed, and excited at the same time. I was so proud of the kids and youth leaders who went 30 hours without food so others could eat, and as a result inspired a congregation to love "not with words or tongue but with actions". Oftentimes my expectations end with what man can accomplish, but this weekend I was overwhelmed by God. Now I have my own story to tell Katy.

[Here are a few links to sponsor children with World Vision, Compassion International, or Hope's Promise, Namibia.]

I must say I'm quite pleased at how our philosophy of missions has grown over the last few years since taking short-term trips to Namibia. Tonight I was sitting in a training meeting for this summer's team and we talked mostly about conversation topics. We talked about the sexual purity material that our hosts use and what kinds of questions our team members might expect to hear in classrooms. We talked about what kinds of lies kids grow up hearing in that culture and how to talk about hope and a good future. Basically, we talked about how to have a conversation with people.

I love that we say our missions trips are all about relationships, but then we actually make them about relationships. Our training sessions prepare people on how to build relationships, how to talk to people, what to expect in conversations. We consistently go back to the same place, working with the same people, continually building into those relationships summer after summer. We don't bring our own agenda, but get involved in things that our hosts are already doing. We listen to people's stories. We encourage people's dreams. We speak hope to people who have long since lost it. We break down generations of racial barriers. We pick up trash and show communities that they're worth a little dignity. We laugh with the unloved. We cry with the abused. We hold the abandoned. And that has made all the difference.

Success looks different for us too. People always ask us if anybody got "saved" or if what we're doing there is really making a difference. People want visible, observable results...but God doesn't always work that way. God's work in people's hearts is a lifelong process. Our goal isn't to get somebody to say a little prayer or cross some threshold. We just want to move people closer than where they are, however closer looks. To me, it looks like a girl who went in 05 keeping up with a Namibian friend on Facebook. It looks like past team members going back again and again and inviting family and friends to go with them, some even giving up their personal vacation time to go visit our friends on their own. It looks like team members requesting to see certain people by name when we get there this summer. Success is ongoing relationships because that's what moves people closer, one conversation at a time.

So that excites me, to be a part of a church that not only talks about, but makes missions relational. We've come a long way in a few short years, but for us, I think it's all part of the conversation that's moving us closer.

The tragedy of social capital

I'm growing quite disturbed with a tendency I see in our culture, mostly because I see it in myself. To put it simply, I'm speaking of the tendency to surround ourselves with "beautiful" people to make ourselves look cool. We make friends or associate ourselves with people who are beautiful, or talented, or popular to improve our social capital (our value in society). The problem with that is it only feeds the concept that value is based on beauty or talent or popularity. It becomes something extrinsic, so if we're not born with it (physical appearance, athleticism, personality, etc) then we have to fake it (fashion, makeup, working out, watching our waistline, etc). One of the ways we fake it is by having other "cool" people think that we're "cool". It's all quite fickle and foolish, yet it keeps creeping up on me.

Instead, I want to value people because of their intrinsic beauty, because God made them special and that alone makes them beautiful. I don't want to feed society's ideal that value is external. Jesus loved people who were social outcasts. If it were today, he'd probably have disciples that were fat, geeky, unkempt, and poor. He saw past the external to their intrinsic beauty. He loved people because they were all valuable to God. That's how I want to love people, but too often it becomes mercenary, for my own gain. I end up building relationships to increase my social capital. And even relationships with "uncool" people are not for their sake, but so that I might appear compassionate. If someone could actually love people solely for what he could give and not for what he gets out of it, he would probably be the most different guy on the planet.

So I'm working on that, but it's not easy fighting against these selfish habits I've been raised to accept by my flesh and by this culture. But then, if love and grace were easy we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

This is harder than I'm willing to admit

uugh, convicted. I hate that; well kind of, because then I realize I'm screwed up, but kind of not because then, hopefully, I can fix it. In Brennan Manning's re-released book entitled The Importance of Being Foolish he quotes Thomas Merton saying

One dimension of this convenient spirituality is our total insistence on ideals and intentions, in complete divorce from reality, from actions, and from social commitment. Whatever we interiorly desire, whatever we dream, whatever we imagine: that is the beautiful, the godly and the true. Pretty thoughts are enough. They substitute for everything else including charity, including life itself.

How many times do I imagine my own spirituality to be far deeper, far more authentic and powerful than it really is? Then I contently polish and display those false snapshots of my spiritual life meanwhile destroying any hope of experiencing the real thing. "The great mark of a Christian is what no other characteristic can replace, namely the example of a life which can only be explained in terms of God" (Emmanuel Suhard). We seem so content with a salvation that secures our eternal destiny. Only an American evangelical would deal in such absolutes. We're saved from far more than eternal damnation, we're saved from this living hell, life without God. It's always been about life. "I've come that they might have life, and have it to the full!" But rather than "walking in newness of life" I'm content drinking to the pleasures of this world while proudly boasting in my fictitious photographs of spirituality. How I long for a life that can only be explained in terms of God, yet I'm the only one holding me back.

Amazing Grace

I went to see the new Amazing Grace movie yesterday, which opened on Feb 23, two hundred years to the day since William Wilberforce's bill to abolish the slave trade in Britain was passed in Parliament. I'm not a huge period film kinda guy but it was definitely worth the time and the $8.25 to go see. The film tells the story of Wilberforce's struggles to stand up for compassion and humanity in a time of desperate need. As a young politician, he decided to take on the injustice of the slave trade. Abolition had few supporters and the opposition was great. This is when his friend William Pitt reassures him, "We are too young to understand what is impossible, and too foolish not to do it." We find ourselves in a similar world that tolerates unspeakable injustices, while so many Christians are content to be ignorant and sit in their suburban churches leaving justice to the politicians. May I never sit idly by and watch the rich oppress the poor for their own gain. May my faith move me to act on their behalf, or why else am I still here. Wilberforce was a great man not because he was a great orator, or a great politician, but because he had great compassion. That's a challenge worth considering for us all.

Find out more about the film at www.amazinggracemovie.com. Find out more about the estimated 27 million slaves in the world today and how you can become a modern day abolitionist at www.theamazingchange.com.

History judges great men

Have you ever had that idea in the back of your mind that you're destined for greatness? Everyone else around here might be content with normal but God has something so much bigger planned for your life. You can't really put your finger on it exactly but with all your potential you just know you're bound for great things. Now I do recognize that Jesus says things like, "The last will be first and the first will be last." I used to think that meant my delusions of grandeur were not biblically founded. I was suppose to want to be the ultimate servant, to help everybody else out at my own expense. But the more I come to understand Jesus I don't think that's quite what He meant. If you recognize that that statement comes in the midst of a conversation about selling all you have and giving to the poor, and how the disciples gave everything they had to follow Jesus, then it almost seems like that's the very secret of greatness. He's not redefining greatness like I used to think. He's redefining how to get there. How many of us don't think the disciples were great, or Adoniram Judson, or Jim Elliot, or Mother Theresa. Their greatness comes from actually following Jesus instead of just reading about Him and studying Him. They lived out what He said and history doesn't know what to make of it. It doesn't make sense why they would give up their lives to love people, but that's exactly why they're remembered as great. Shane Claiborne quotes Mother Theresa as saying, "We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it." (Check out Shane's book The Irresistable Revolution) We all talk about pursuing excellence or greatness in what we do. How about we start pursuing excellently living out what Jesus said. When was the last time you heard somebody say 'I want to be really good at following Jesus.' Maybe when we stop trying to be great theologians, or great speakers, or great Christians, and just become great lovers of the poor, the fatherless, and the widowed, maybe then we'll be a little closer to what it means to follow Jesus.

Dare you to move

"The Lord will work out His plans for my life--for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for You made me." Ps 138:8

I'm kind of sick of suburban culture for what it reveals in my life. (I started to write "for what it makes me into" but it doesn't 'make' me. If it wasn't in me in the first place then I wouldn't act the way I do. So I say the culture reveals things in me that I don't like to see.) I spent some time with my brother and nephew tonight. We went to a little arcade where he could play games for a quarter and we could get some pizza. My brother says it's good to take a break and laugh and play and put life behind you for a little while to get your mind off the stress. In suburbia we stress about stupid stuff like what to wear today or what restaraunt to eat at or what movie to watch tonight. Somewhere somebody's stressing about what their kids going to eat tomorrow, how they're going to pay for last months rent, when they're gonna get a break and be able to get ahead. And I'm not even talking Africa, because that's far worse, but I'm not in Africa. I'm sitting on my couch flipping channels while somebody just down the road is barely scraping by. Why do I let myself put so much value in things that don't matter? Why do I waste my life away on my own comforts when there's so many people right outside my door that need to be loved? My complacency is my own discontentment. I wonder if helping someone else get their mind off their problems isn't more theraputic for me in the end. I'm reminded of a few things I've learned over many trips to Namibia that I'll end with...1) God put each of us in our own unique circumstances for a reason, 2) There are 'invisible children' everywhere, and 3) You can't save them all, but you can make all the difference to the one right in front of you.

First 'blog post' of 2007

I'm struck deep by Augustine's illustration of carrying this burden of sin like a burden of sleep, something we know we need to wake from but find it so difficult to do. All this talk of sin recently has brought me face to face with grace. The kind of grace that surrounds any interaction with the Almighty, so much so that it's dripping with it. The kind of grace that covers us and smooths out all the bumps like liquid chocolate on a strawberry. The irony is I try so hard to avoid grace in my efforts to be perfect. I do everything I can to convince others and myself that I don't need grace. But the truth is, if it were not for my sin, my bumps, I would never know the grace of God. So the very thing I'm hiding from is the very thing that will lead me to Him. Afterall, it was the spiritual ones who thought they 'got it' that Jesus so heavily criticized. It was the messy people that surrounded Him. To a helplessly devoted perfectionist, this is a hard pill to swallow. And living in a culture that performs for it's approval, this doesn't make any sense. We do everything we can to look good, and surround ourselves with people that will only make us look better. This upside-down nature of grace doesn't fit the system of life that I've created for myself. That's why it's so much easier to roll over and go back to sleep, even though I know it's far better to be awake, I just don't know how to live there. So I'm left to battle my culture, and myself, not for first place, but for last, not to be greater, but to be less. It's a tough battle because it goes against everything I've ever known. But there's a joy that I know can never be found on this side of the battle, which leaves only the fight. And that's why I can never give up. It's worth it, and heaven knows I can be pretty stubborn sometimes. :)