How to be a good fan

So I've been having this conversation with my young, teenage cousin Meghan, and her cousin on the other side, Katie, and they were telling me about their favorite football teams and getting on my case for liking the Patriots. I felt my response to them was so insightful that you too could gain some valuable wisdom, so I thought I'd share it here.

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Ok Katie, allow me to teach you about being a good, knowledgeable fan. First of all, I would expect you to like the Steelers, obviously, you're from western Pennsylvania. So I don't question your character or like you any less because you like the Steelers. I also don't dislike you because you don't like the Patriots. Obviously, any good Steelers fan shouldn't like the Patriots because we always beat you in the playoffs. It's a rivalry. If you didn't dislike the Patriots then you would not be a very good Steelers fan. Therefore I respect you as a Steelers fan, that you're a good fan for your team. That said, you should respect me for being a good fan of my team by not liking their rivals. You follow?

Now Meghan, I do have to take issue with your choices. I need to ask why you're a Steelers or a Giants fan? Is it just because they've won Super Bowls recently? Because then you'd just be a bandwagon fan which is not very respectable. Is it just because you think Eli is hot?? That's absolutely NO reason to like a team (it's quite girly), so it also is unrespectable. Because you're from Michigan I would expect you to be a Lions fan, but considering how shamefully BAD they are, a good Lions fan would shake their head in shame, so I'll give you a little grace on that one.

Here's the long and the short of it. If you're gonna be a fan, at least be a good fan! Don't hate people because they're fans of other teams - especially if they're from those place, they should be fans of those teams. And don't hate people just because they're all loud and obnoxious and make fun of your team for no good reason. Just explain to them about what it means to be a good fan, because then you sound very respectable and they just sound lame. People then look up to you because you're knowledgeable and gracious, but they tend to alienate the loud, obnoxious ones. You then get invited to sports parties and even to games sometimes because you know what it means to be a good fan. You also highly increase your chances of getting asked out by a good, cute, respectable guy who's into sports...all because you listened to your older cousin and learned how to be a good fan. ;)